The door was left open all day and there might be an intruder in the house? Let me just grab a kitchen knife and wield it like I know what the hell I’m doing.
Someone pooped on the carpet? No need for rubber gloves, I’ve got this.
Cats dragged a dead bird in and left it on the floor? Yep, mom’s got it (props to my friend Jana for handling this very situation like a boss).
The one area that continues to be a challenge is bugs, which are my kryptonite. If no kids are present, I will shriek and run off and call my husband to come rescue me from the moth in our room. But if my kids are watching, I can smash a fly with my bare hand Miyagi-style.
Inside, I’m screaming, but I’ve pasted on a confident smile that assures my daughters there’s no reason to fear tiny insects. (But seriously, moths are so gross! Why do they fly right at you?)
Being able to exude fake confidence comes in handy in the workplace, too. Before kids, I was too intimidated to ask for a raise, promotion or flexible schedule. As a mom of two I have asked for all these things.
None of those things are easy to obtain, but when you walk into a room head held high, mom balls swinging, people tend to take you a little more seriously.
And motherhood SHOULD make you more confident. You grew a human inside your body, lived to tell the tale of birthing it and then managed not to kill it; even as it kept you awake for months on end, told you it hates your hair like that and, yes, pooped on your carpet.
Since becoming a mother I have taken on challenges with zeal and authority. I applied for, was accepted to and completed a management training program that opened new doors, even though it forced me to travel away from my infant daughter six times in one year. I completely changed career paths to go after something more lucrative and stable. I launched this blog.
And there are plenty of other mommas doing it, too. In the past year, two friends with little ones went after promotions at work and landed them. Others have switched career paths or made the decision to work less and be home more.
Cower in fear, moths, misogynists and meddlers; we’ve got mom balls, and we’re not afraid to use them.