According to a quick Internet search, I’ve entered the time at which my eldest can start forming longer-term memories.
That frightens me, because I have far more moments than I’d like where I am overtired and stressed and say “Dammit, why can’t you just be quiet for a minute?!”
But I’m also hopeful. Because though I’ve had plenty of crappy nights as a mom, this Monday night I was magical.
With the patience of Buddha, a Bill Murray-esque twinkle of mischief and an extra dose of big hugs, I managed to pull off three-plus hours of being Awesome Mommy.
There were chores to be done and vegetables to be eaten, but this was not the night for those things. Instead we had McDonald’s for dinner and cake for dessert. We danced and I didn’t feign exhaustion. We played dolls and I didn’t sneak a look at my phone.
And, get this: I volunteered to take my husband’s bedtime shift.
Whereas most Mondays that act would have me feeling like Katniss stepping up to the arena, on this night I really wanted to be the one to get those extra 40 minutes with my eldest.
I wish I could tell you what sorcery brought about this surge of Glenda the Good Witch magic so you can enjoy a similar night, but alas, I have no clue. I’m just glad I was here to enjoy it. Really here, present, dancing with abandon and sharing a slice of cake without concern for a pre-bed sugar rush. I even let the 1-year-old have some.
I’m pretty sure I’ll remember it, because if nothing else I jotted it down in my mom journal (side note, this is the best and is a great way to keep track of sweet moments).
But more than anything, I hope my eldest remembers. Please, kid, please. Remember the nights like this, where I was able to show you exactly how much I love you, consistently, for hours on end. As you deserve.
Like all of us, I get tired, I get crabby, I’m not my best self and it shows most in front of the kids, who have that special power to make me insane and ecstatic all in the swing of five minutes.
But tonight I was great. And I hope the echoes of our laughter as we danced to Taylor Swift ring out in her memories years from now.
It’s not all bear hugs and extra bedtime stories, but when it is, hold tight.